Summary
A husband is upset by his wife’s sexual involvement with her sister and by pressure to film it. He says the behavior continues and asks how to respond.
The answer urges him to express his feelings and make his unhappiness with the situation clear rather than assuming his wife understands it.
It suggests discussing what is happening and seeking couples counseling to explore the relationship issues, while acknowledging that the reasons for her behavior are uncertain.
Question
Reader · Identity withheldI have been married to my wife for 4 years. Twice I have come home and found her making love to her sister. They act like it’s no big deal and they want me to film them. I don’t know how to handle it, and they won’t stop.
Answer
Ann LandersIf your wife’s actions bother you, let her know! Have you discussed this situation with her? Let her know how you feel. In a sense, she is being unfaithful to you, although she may not see it that way. What would you do if you came home and found her with another man? You would probably make your feelings more evident…right? Ask her why she is doing it.
Often times spouses cheat either because their needs aren’t being met or because they have fallen in love with someone else. I’m guessing your wife isn’t in love with her sister. Is there any reason your wife may be feeling ignored?
Another possibility is that she is experimenting with her sexuality and feels safer doing so with her sister. No matter what the reason is, you are expressing unhappiness about the situation. I suggest that the two of you seek couples counseling. It is my guess that her actions have underlying causes…
Hope things work out, – Anne
