Summary
A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize.
The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual.
It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand.
It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time.
Question
Reader · Identity withheldI‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male.
Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive.
Is this weird?
I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends.
I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?
Answer
Ann LandersIt is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time.
You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though.
Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place.
Best of luck, – Anne
