Summary
A reader feels close to tears after even mildly rude or condescending comments and is finding work increasingly difficult. They ask where the sensitivity might come from and how to regain balance.
The response offers several possible contributors, including mood, temperament, past relationships, and coping skills, rather than identifying a single explanation.
It suggests a medical consultation to explore contributing factors, along with assertiveness training, stress-management skills, and everyday self-care that may support emotional steadiness.
Question
Reader · Identity withheldEvery time someone says something even slightly rude or condescending, I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to function at work.
I don’t understand where this sensitivity is coming from! How can I regain my sense of balance and feel like myself again?
Answer
Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.There are a number of possible reasons why you may be feeling so thin-skinned. You may have an ‘illness’ like a mild depression, you may have some biological/genetic disposition or temperament that leads you to be more emotional than others, you may have experienced a difficult relationship history, or have even been abused, or you may have never learned appropriate coping and assertiveness skills. It may be a combination of any of these possibilities and others I’ve not thought of.
Whatever the reasons for your reactivity, you may benefit from some or all of the following remediation ideas.
First, you may benefit from medication. Just about any doctor can prescribe you some anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication which might help. It’s probably worth consulting a doctor about your emotionality difficulty anyway just to rule out any physical issue that might be a contributing factor. Be warned however, that insurance companies may discriminate against you in the future if you get on psychiatric medication now.
Second, it would be a good idea to explore assertiveness training and general coping-with-stress skills. Many therapists can offer you coping and assertiveness training programs, or you can find good books on the subject in many book stores.
General things you might do to take care of yourself can also benefit you emotionally (such as exercise, yoga classes and massage, etc.)
Good luck in your explorations!
