{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another","path":"/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another","title":"Relationship Parent–Child Dynamics","family":"Library detail","description":"Learn about the toxic dynamic of one spouse as the parent and the other as the child in a marriage. Discover tips to change and improve the relationship.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"custom-shared-preview","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another","wordpressId":"6002","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/marina-edelman#person","name":"Marina Edelman","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/marina-edelman"}],"dates":{"datePublished":"2010-10-19T04:00:00Z","dateModified":"2025-08-27T10:44:29Z"},"content":{"html":"<nav class=\"breadcrumbs\" aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library\">Library</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/relationships\">Relationships</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">Relationship Parent–Child Dynamics</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page article-standard\" data-library-standard><div class=\"article-main-grid\"><header class=\"article-heading\"><h1>Relationship Parent–Child Dynamics</h1><p class=\"article-inline-credits\">Written by <a class=\"article-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/marina-edelman\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9341.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\" loading=\"lazy\">Marina Edelman</a></p><div class=\"article-dates\"><span>Published on <time datetime=\"2010-10-19T04:00:00Z\">October 19, 2010</time></span><span aria-hidden=\"true\"> · </span><span>Updated on <time datetime=\"2025-08-27T10:44:29Z\">August 27, 2025</time></span></div></header><div class=\"article-jumpbar\"></div><div class=\"article-layout\"><div class=\"article-reading\"><article class=\"prose\" id=\"article-content\"><p>Recently Courtney Cox and David Arquette have been in the news announcing their separation. David went on the Howard Stern’s radio show to discuss the demise of his marriage. What came out of the interview is David admitting to taking on the child role in their marriage and Courtney becoming tired of being the mother.</p><p>This dynamic is unfortunately very common in marriages and becomes toxic overtime if behavior is not changed. To get a better idea about the dynamic watch some past episodes of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”. In essence one spouse assumes the parent position while the other spouse assumes the child position. The “parent” partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. The “parent” can be emasculating at times and cause the “child” partner to harbor resentment. The “child” in turn can be rebellious, immature, passive-aggressive, and irresponsible. I work with many couples every week that portray this dysfunctional pattern.</p><p>Intimacy is the first thing to usually go because nobody wants to be intimate with their parent. Nagging and irresponsibility are not sexy traits. Second is communication on a mature intimate level ceases and instead gets replaced with more of a business language. One spouse asks another to do something and then follows up to see if it was done. The one assigned the task usualy doesn’t complete the task on purpose and the cycle continues.</p><figure class=\"article-feature\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11311.webp\" alt=\"A father and child sit together on the floor at home.\" width=\"1199\" height=\"800\" loading=\"eager\" decoding=\"async\"></figure><section class=\"article-takeaways\" aria-labelledby=\"key-takeaways\"><h2 id=\"key-takeaways\">Key takeaways</h2><ul><li>Parent-child dynamics in couples can develop when one partner controls and the other becomes passive or resistant.</li><li>This pattern can erode intimacy and replace equal communication with supervision and resentment.</li><li>Shared decisions and greater personal responsibility can help partners return to a more balanced relationship.</li></ul></section><h2 id=\"tips\"><strong>Tips:</strong></h2><p>First acknowledge your perspective roles and agree to change.</p><p>Second, the parent partner needs to enlist their partners help in the marriage. It looks like this, instead of assigning a chore discuss a situation with your partner and ask your partner for suggestions and advice on how to handle the issue. Compromise and give the child partner ownership of the task at hand.</p><p>\nThird, the child partner needs to become an active participant in the relationship and not see themselves as the victim. Take charge of chores/situations and see what response you get from your partner.\n</p></article><div class=\"article-endmatter\"><section class=\"article-about article-panel\"><h2 id=\"about-mentalhealth-com\">About MentalHealth.com</h2><p>MentalHealth.com helps people understand themselves, build healthier relationships, and access the right care. We bring together mental health education, diagnostics, and care management to support well-being throughout every phase of life.</p><div class=\"article-contributors\"><section class=\"article-bio\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9341.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"><div><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Author</p><h3 id=\"marina-edelman\"><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/marina-edelman\">Marina Edelman</a></h3><p class=\"article-bio-credentials\">MA</p><p>Marina Edelman is a Marriage and Family Therapist with over 18 years of experience oinproviding therapy to individuals, couples, and families.</p><dl><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2010-10-19T04:00:00Z\">October 19, 2010</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-08-27T10:44:29Z\">August 27, 2025</time></dd></div></dl></div></section></div></section><section class=\"article-medical article-panel article-pending\" role=\"note\" aria-label=\"Pending medical review\"><h2 id=\"medical-review-status\">Pending Medical Review</h2><p>We take mental health content seriously and follow industry-leading guidelines to ensure our users access the highest quality information. All editorial decisions for published content are made by the MentalHealth.com Editorial Team, with guidance from our Clinical Affairs Team.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/publishing/editorial-policy\">Our medical review process</a></section><section class=\"article-expert article-expert-mobile\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><div class=\"article-expert-identity\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/11503.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">Holly Schiff <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2></div><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Children, adolescents, and families</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">View experience</a></section><section class=\"article-topic-community article-topic-community-mobile\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11831.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Family Health</h2><p>Connect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/family-health\">Explore community</a></section></div></div><aside class=\"article-sidebar\" tabindex=\"0\" data-bounded-rail=\"\" aria-label=\"Article navigation and related information\"><details class=\"article-contents\" open data-section-preview=\"3\" data-expanded=\"false\" data-scrolled-past=\"false\"><summary><strong>Table of contents</strong><span aria-hidden=\"true\"></span><small data-current-section=\"\">Choose a section</small></summary><nav aria-label=\"Article contents\"><ol id=\"article-section-list\"><li><a href=\"#tips\" title=\"Tips:\" aria-label=\"Tips:\">Tips:</a></li></ol><button type=\"button\" class=\"article-sections-toggle\" data-sections-toggle aria-controls=\"article-section-list\" aria-expanded=\"false\" hidden=\"\">View more</button></nav></details><section class=\"article-expert\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><div class=\"article-expert-identity\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/11503.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">Holly Schiff <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2></div><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Children, adolescents, and families</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">View experience</a></section><section class=\"article-topic-community\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11831.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Family Health</h2><p>Connect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/family-health\">Explore community</a></section></aside></div></div></div>","text":"HomeLibraryRelationshipsRelationship Parent–Child DynamicsRelationship Parent–Child DynamicsWritten by Marina EdelmanPublished on October 19, 2010 · Updated on August 27, 2025Recently Courtney Cox and David Arquette have been in the news announcing their separation. David went on the Howard Stern’s radio show to discuss the demise of his marriage. What came out of the interview is David admitting to taking on the child role in their marriage and Courtney becoming tired of being the mother.This dynamic is unfortunately very common in marriages and becomes toxic overtime if behavior is not changed. To get a better idea about the dynamic watch some past episodes of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”. In essence one spouse assumes the parent position while the other spouse assumes the child position. The “parent” partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. The “parent” can be emasculating at times and cause the “child” partner to harbor resentment. The “child” in turn can be rebellious, immature, passive-aggressive, and irresponsible. I work with many couples every week that portray this dysfunctional pattern.Intimacy is the first thing to usually go because nobody wants to be intimate with their parent. Nagging and irresponsibility are not sexy traits. Second is communication on a mature intimate level ceases and instead gets replaced with more of a business language. One spouse asks another to do something and then follows up to see if it was done. The one assigned the task usualy doesn’t complete the task on purpose and the cycle continues.Key takeawaysParent-child dynamics in couples can develop when one partner controls and the other becomes passive or resistant.This pattern can erode intimacy and replace equal communication with supervision and resentment.Shared decisions and greater personal responsibility can help partners return to a more balanced relationship.Tips:First acknowledge your perspective roles and agree to change.Second, the parent partner needs to enlist their partners help in the marriage. It looks like this, instead of assigning a chore discuss a situation with your partner and ask your partner for suggestions and advice on how to handle the issue. Compromise and give the child partner ownership of the task at hand. Third, the child partner needs to become an active participant in the relationship and not see themselves as the victim. Take charge of chores/situations and see what response you get from your partner. About MentalHealth.comMentalHealth.com helps people understand themselves, build healthier relationships, and access the right care. We bring together mental health education, diagnostics, and care management to support well-being throughout every phase of life.AuthorMarina EdelmanMAMarina Edelman is a Marriage and Family Therapist with over 18 years of experience oinproviding therapy to individuals, couples, and families.PublishedOctober 19, 2010UpdatedAugust 27, 2025Pending Medical ReviewWe take mental health content seriously and follow industry-leading guidelines to ensure our users access the highest quality information. All editorial decisions for published content are made by the MentalHealth.com Editorial Team, with guidance from our Clinical Affairs Team.Our medical review processSubject matter expertHolly Schiff Psy.D.Children, adolescents, and familiesView experienceRelated communitiesFamily HealthConnect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.Explore communityTable of contentsChoose a sectionTips:View moreSubject matter expertHolly Schiff Psy.D.Children, adolescents, and familiesView experienceRelated communitiesFamily HealthConnect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.Explore community","wordCount":532},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#website","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Library","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Relationships","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/relationships"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Relationship Parent–Child Dynamics","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another#primaryimage","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11311.webp","contentUrl":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11311.webp","width":1199,"height":800,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"A father and child sit together on the floor at home."},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/marina-edelman#person","name":"Marina Edelman","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/marina-edelman","jobTitle":"MA","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9341.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/marinaedelman/"]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another#article","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/when-relationship-partners-act-like-parents-or-children-towards-one-another","headline":"Relationship Parent–Child Dynamics","description":"Learn about the toxic dynamic of one spouse as the parent and the other as the child in a marriage. 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