{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/pushy-parents","path":"/library/pushy-parents","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/pushy-parents","title":"Pushy Parents","family":"Library detail","description":"Discover the negative effects of pushy parenting and how it stifles children's creativity and independence.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"custom-shared-preview","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/pushy-parents","wordpressId":"5474","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mandy-kloppers#person","name":"Mandy Kloppers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mandy-kloppers"}],"dates":{"datePublished":"2013-09-11T04:00:00Z","dateModified":"2025-07-31T21:35:52Z"},"content":{"html":"<nav class=\"breadcrumbs\" aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library\">Library</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/family-health\">Family Health</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">Pushy Parents</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page article-standard\" data-library-standard><div class=\"article-main-grid\"><header class=\"article-heading\"><h1>Pushy Parents</h1><p class=\"article-inline-credits\">Written by <a class=\"article-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mandy-kloppers\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9425.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\" loading=\"lazy\">Mandy Kloppers</a></p><div class=\"article-dates\"><span>Published on <time datetime=\"2013-09-11T04:00:00Z\">September 11, 2013</time></span><span aria-hidden=\"true\"> · </span><span>Updated on <time datetime=\"2025-07-31T21:35:52Z\">July 31, 2025</time></span></div></header><div class=\"article-jumpbar\"></div><div class=\"article-layout\"><div class=\"article-reading\"><article class=\"prose\" id=\"article-content\"><p>Are you a pushy parent? There’s a big difference between being supportive and being pushy. Pushy parents often feel inadequate in their own way and try to live vicariously through their children. Instead of seeing their children as individuals with their own hopes and dreams, they foist their own (often toxic and distorted) attitudes and ambitions onto their children.</p><figure class=\"article-feature\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-14772.webp\" alt=\"A young child joins a classroom learning activity.\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" loading=\"eager\" decoding=\"async\"></figure><section class=\"article-takeaways\" aria-labelledby=\"key-takeaways\"><h2 id=\"key-takeaways\">Key takeaways</h2><ul><li>Excessive parental pressure can prioritize adult ambitions over a child’s interests and developing identity.</li><li>Achievement-focused pressure may increase stress and reduce opportunities for creativity and independent thinking.</li><li>Supportive parenting combines encouragement with acceptance of the child’s individual strengths and preferences.</li></ul></section><h2 id=\"overview\">Overview</h2><p>Research has shown that pushy parenting does tend to lead to children with higher grades but it also stifles children and encourages them to be less creative, more nervous and stressed and less able to think for themselves. Children are motivated, not out of passion from within, but rather from an external source – the disapproval of their parents.</p><p>Sadly, I have met many clients who, as adults, are unfulfilled and never feel good enough. They strive relentlessly yet never feel happy. They never quite felt they had the approval of their parents and as a result are constantly trying to fill a bottomless pit.</p><p>Due to the parenting they received, they have distorted views and ideas and what brings happiness. They believe they have to be captain of the rugby team of earning vast sums of money yet even when/if they get this they don’t feel content. Why? Because they have the wrong idea about what will bring them happiness. The more pushy the parent, the more the ‘essential’ qualities of the child are destroyed until that child no longer even knows themselves. Their passions and innate wishes have been stamped out completely and they have become a puppet, trying to please their parents.</p><p>Enlightened parents support and encourage their children but they don’t push. They leave lots of free space for their children to develop their own ideas and character without pushing their warped versions of the world onto their children.</p><p>Our children can disappoint us, we may wish for a child that was more intellectual, more sporty or more outgoing but it is the wise parent that accepts their child as they are and loves them anyway. They are on this planet to find themselves not to live out unfulfilled dreams of their parents.</p><p>So, if you think you are a pushy parent. Stop and really listen to your children. Start to nurture their essential self rather than their social conditioned self. Who are they as people? Are they naturally quiet? Are they naturally more in tune with nature than the sporty rowdy type. Honour them as they are. This builds true self confidence, self belief and self acceptance.</p></article><div class=\"article-endmatter\"><section class=\"article-about article-panel\"><h2 id=\"about-mentalhealth-com\">About MentalHealth.com</h2><p>MentalHealth.com helps people understand themselves, build healthier relationships, and access the right care. We bring together mental health education, diagnostics, and care management to support well-being throughout every phase of life.</p><div class=\"article-contributors\"><section class=\"article-bio\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9425.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"><div><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Author</p><h3 id=\"mandy-kloppers\"><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mandy-kloppers\">Mandy Kloppers</a></h3><p class=\"article-bio-credentials\">Writer</p><p>Mandy Kloppers has been working in the mental health field for more than eight years and has worked with a diverse group of clients, including people with learning disabilities, the elderly suffering from dementia, and mentally ill patients detained in medium and high-secure units.</p><dl><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2013-09-11T04:00:00Z\">September 11, 2013</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-07-31T21:35:52Z\">July 31, 2025</time></dd></div></dl></div></section></div></section><section class=\"article-medical article-panel article-pending\" role=\"note\" aria-label=\"Pending medical review\"><h2 id=\"medical-review-status\">Pending Medical Review</h2><p>We take mental health content seriously and follow industry-leading guidelines to ensure our users access the highest quality information. All editorial decisions for published content are made by the MentalHealth.com Editorial Team, with guidance from our Clinical Affairs Team.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/publishing/editorial-policy\">Our medical review process</a></section><section class=\"article-expert article-expert-mobile\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><div class=\"article-expert-identity\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/11503.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">Holly Schiff <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2></div><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Children, adolescents, and families</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">View experience</a></section><section class=\"article-topic-community article-topic-community-mobile\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11831.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Family Health</h2><p>Connect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/family-health\">Explore community</a></section></div></div><aside class=\"article-sidebar\" tabindex=\"0\" data-bounded-rail=\"\" aria-label=\"Article navigation and related information\"><details class=\"article-contents\" open data-section-preview=\"3\" data-expanded=\"false\" data-scrolled-past=\"false\"><summary><strong>Table of contents</strong><span aria-hidden=\"true\"></span><small data-current-section=\"\">Choose a section</small></summary><nav aria-label=\"Article contents\"><ol id=\"article-section-list\"><li><a href=\"#overview\" title=\"Overview\" aria-label=\"Overview\">Overview</a></li></ol><button type=\"button\" class=\"article-sections-toggle\" data-sections-toggle aria-controls=\"article-section-list\" aria-expanded=\"false\" hidden=\"\">View more</button></nav></details><section class=\"article-expert\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><div class=\"article-expert-identity\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/11503.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">Holly Schiff <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2></div><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Children, adolescents, and families</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/holly-schiff\">View experience</a></section><section class=\"article-topic-community\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-11831.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Family Health</h2><p>Connect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/family-health\">Explore community</a></section></aside></div></div></div>","text":"HomeLibraryFamily HealthPushy ParentsPushy ParentsWritten by Mandy KloppersPublished on September 11, 2013 · Updated on July 31, 2025Are you a pushy parent? There’s a big difference between being supportive and being pushy. Pushy parents often feel inadequate in their own way and try to live vicariously through their children. Instead of seeing their children as individuals with their own hopes and dreams, they foist their own (often toxic and distorted) attitudes and ambitions onto their children.Key takeawaysExcessive parental pressure can prioritize adult ambitions over a child’s interests and developing identity.Achievement-focused pressure may increase stress and reduce opportunities for creativity and independent thinking.Supportive parenting combines encouragement with acceptance of the child’s individual strengths and preferences.OverviewResearch has shown that pushy parenting does tend to lead to children with higher grades but it also stifles children and encourages them to be less creative, more nervous and stressed and less able to think for themselves. Children are motivated, not out of passion from within, but rather from an external source – the disapproval of their parents.Sadly, I have met many clients who, as adults, are unfulfilled and never feel good enough. They strive relentlessly yet never feel happy. They never quite felt they had the approval of their parents and as a result are constantly trying to fill a bottomless pit.Due to the parenting they received, they have distorted views and ideas and what brings happiness. They believe they have to be captain of the rugby team of earning vast sums of money yet even when/if they get this they don’t feel content. Why? Because they have the wrong idea about what will bring them happiness. The more pushy the parent, the more the ‘essential’ qualities of the child are destroyed until that child no longer even knows themselves. Their passions and innate wishes have been stamped out completely and they have become a puppet, trying to please their parents.Enlightened parents support and encourage their children but they don’t push. They leave lots of free space for their children to develop their own ideas and character without pushing their warped versions of the world onto their children.Our children can disappoint us, we may wish for a child that was more intellectual, more sporty or more outgoing but it is the wise parent that accepts their child as they are and loves them anyway. They are on this planet to find themselves not to live out unfulfilled dreams of their parents.So, if you think you are a pushy parent. Stop and really listen to your children. Start to nurture their essential self rather than their social conditioned self. Who are they as people? Are they naturally quiet? Are they naturally more in tune with nature than the sporty rowdy type. Honour them as they are. This builds true self confidence, self belief and self acceptance.About MentalHealth.comMentalHealth.com helps people understand themselves, build healthier relationships, and access the right care. We bring together mental health education, diagnostics, and care management to support well-being throughout every phase of life.AuthorMandy KloppersWriterMandy Kloppers has been working in the mental health field for more than eight years and has worked with a diverse group of clients, including people with learning disabilities, the elderly suffering from dementia, and mentally ill patients detained in medium and high-secure units.PublishedSeptember 11, 2013UpdatedJuly 31, 2025Pending Medical ReviewWe take mental health content seriously and follow industry-leading guidelines to ensure our users access the highest quality information. All editorial decisions for published content are made by the MentalHealth.com Editorial Team, with guidance from our Clinical Affairs Team.Our medical review processSubject matter expertHolly Schiff Psy.D.Children, adolescents, and familiesView experienceRelated communitiesFamily HealthConnect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.Explore communityTable of contentsChoose a sectionOverviewView moreSubject matter expertHolly Schiff Psy.D.Children, adolescents, and familiesView experienceRelated communitiesFamily HealthConnect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.Explore 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