{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man","path":"/answers/seeing-a-married-man","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man","title":"Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?","family":"Answers detail","description":"A woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning accusations.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"custom-shared-preview","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/seeing-a-married-man","wordpressId":"6283","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers"}],"reviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"dates":{"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:16Z","dateModified":"2026-06-05T09:33:42Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"},"content":{"html":"<nav class=\"breadcrumbs\" aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page answer-page\" data-answer-template=\"conversation\"><header class=\"answer-heading article-heading\"><a class=\"answer-back\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a><h1>Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?</h1><div class=\"answer-credits\"><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Written by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Ann Landers</span></span></a><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Medically reviewed by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</span></span></a></div><dl class=\"answer-heading-dates\"><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2024-06-01T00:35:16Z\">June 1, 2024</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2026-06-05T09:33:42Z\">June 5, 2026</time></dd></div><div><dt>Reviewed</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-09-15\">September 15, 2025</time></dd></div></dl></header><nav class=\"answer-nav\" aria-label=\"Answer navigation\"><a href=\"#summary\">Summary</a><a href=\"#question\">Question</a><a href=\"#answer\">Answer</a></nav><article class=\"prose\" id=\"article-content\" data-answer-thread aria-label=\"Reader question and professional response\"><section class=\"answer-overview\" id=\"summary\" aria-labelledby=\"summary-title\"><h2 id=\"summary-title\">Summary</h2><figure class=\"answer-question-image\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/seeing-a-married-man-20261003.webp\" alt=\"An adult walking along a sunlit seafront promenade\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" fetchpriority=\"high\"></figure><p>A woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning accusations. She asks how to remain firm when her feelings for him make it difficult to leave.</p><p>The answer interprets his conduct as disrespectful and emphasizes the potential emotional harm to her and his family.</p><p>It recommends ending the relationship and contact, and seeking a relationship with an available partner who treats her with respect, rather than continuing to wait for him.</p></section><div class=\"answer-originals\" id=\"original-conversation\"><div class=\"answer-originals-body\"><section class=\"answer-post answer-question\" id=\"question\" aria-labelledby=\"question-person\"><div class=\"answer-avatar answer-reader\" aria-hidden=\"true\">?</div><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"question-person\">Question</h2><span>Reader · Identity withheld</span></header><p>I have been seeing a married man for a year, we have discussed his leaving his wife, he wants to he says, but loves his 2 children too much to leave. </p>\n<p>I have been faithful to him the whole year, ignoring friends invites, staying around the house more and pretty much waiting on him, I have decided not to do this any longer and I have realized what a horrible thing I have been doing. </p>\n<p>I love him very much, but lately he has noticed a change in me and is accusing me of being with other men-example: I have a lawyer. </p>\n<p>My boyfriend asked to see a receipt where I have paid the lawyer. He made the comment that I was “spreading my legs for my attorney’s services”. </p>\n<p>This cut me to the core – how could he take something emotional and intimate that we share to show our love and make it something ugly? </p>\n<p>How could he think that I would give myself to any one like that, let alone for services. This made me feel like a cheap whore, I am supposed to talk to him about this tonight, I told him I no longer wanted to see him, that he wasn’t worth waiting for if he thought so low of me. </p>\n<p>Please help me choose the right words to stay firm in my decision, when I see him I just melt.</p></div></section><section class=\"answer-post answer-response\" id=\"answer\" aria-labelledby=\"response-person\"><a class=\"answer-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\" aria-label=\"View Ann Landers profile\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"44\" height=\"44\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"response-person\">Answer</h2><span>Ann Landers</span></header><p>You’re all worried about whether or not this married man respects you, when it is perfectly clear to anyone who has been around the block a time or two that he doesn’t. In fact it is fairly clear that he not only doesn’t respect you, but that he doesn’t respect his family either. If he did, he wouldn’t be running around with you, now would he? </p>\n<p>After all, married men aren’t supposed to cheat on their wives, are they? It’s called adultery. It’s called cheating. It’s not something that honourable people do.</p>\n<p>The likely case here is that this married man is more or less using you for sex. He tells you he loves you because that is the bait you are hungry for and will swallow every time, keeping yourself on his hook whenever he wants you. Since he sees you more as a sex object and not so much as a person he respects, it is easy for him to think of other people viewing you the same way, hence his nasty comments towards you regarding the lawyer.</p>\n<details class=\"answer-long-text\"><summary><span class=\"answer-read-more\">Show more</span><span class=\"answer-read-less\">Show less</span></summary><p>My advice to you is to grow up a little and recognize how you are being played, and also how what you are doing will likely hurt not only yourself, but the other people involved, including this man’s wife and children, both of whom have feelings that can be hurt just like you do, and whose feelings are rather likely to be crushed and altered for life if they find out what has been happening. </p>\n<p>In your rush to satisfy your need to be loved (a perfectly human motive we can all relate to), you have settled instead for someone who is merely using you. You have also put the emotional lives of two innocent children and a similarly innocent wife at risk. </p>\n<p>While it is true that this guy will likely cheat with someone else if he doesn’t have access to you, at least if he is cheating with someone else, the pain of the family when they find out (and they will find out) will not have occurred while on your watch.</p>\n<p>Please do the right thing here. Walk away from this bum and don’t accept his calls anymore. Don’t let him near you anymore. Instead, work towards finding someone single with whom you can share a real and authentic love. You <b>are</b> worth at least that much. Good luck.</p></details></div></section></div></div></article><div class=\"answer-endmatter\"><section class=\"article-expert answer-expert-card\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/dana-vince\" tabindex=\"-1\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9366.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div class=\"answer-expert-copy\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/dana-vince\">Dana Vince</a></h2><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Relationships and marriage counseling</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/dana-vince\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"article-topic-community\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-10366.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Marriage</h2><p>A space for perspectives on partnership, communication, and the changing experiences of married life.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/marriage\">Explore community</a></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Author</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\">Ann Landers</a></h2><p>Ann Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Medical reviewer</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-related\"><h2>Related questions</h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/what-is-wrong-with-me-i-dont-care-anymore\">Why don’t I care anymore? What’s wrong with me?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/is-there-something-wrong-with-me\">What’s wrong with me?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/is-it-okay-to-be-a-masochist\">Is it wrong to be a masochist?</a></section></div></div>","text":"HomeAnswersIs it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?AnswersIs it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?Written byAnn LandersMedically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D.PublishedJune 1, 2024UpdatedJune 5, 2026ReviewedSeptember 15, 2025SummaryQuestionAnswerSummaryA woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning accusations. She asks how to remain firm when her feelings for him make it difficult to leave.The answer interprets his conduct as disrespectful and emphasizes the potential emotional harm to her and his family.It recommends ending the relationship and contact, and seeking a relationship with an available partner who treats her with respect, rather than continuing to wait for him.?QuestionReader · Identity withheldI have been seeing a married man for a year, we have discussed his leaving his wife, he wants to he says, but loves his 2 children too much to leave. I have been faithful to him the whole year, ignoring friends invites, staying around the house more and pretty much waiting on him, I have decided not to do this any longer and I have realized what a horrible thing I have been doing. I love him very much, but lately he has noticed a change in me and is accusing me of being with other men-example: I have a lawyer. My boyfriend asked to see a receipt where I have paid the lawyer. He made the comment that I was “spreading my legs for my attorney’s services”. This cut me to the core – how could he take something emotional and intimate that we share to show our love and make it something ugly? How could he think that I would give myself to any one like that, let alone for services. This made me feel like a cheap whore, I am supposed to talk to him about this tonight, I told him I no longer wanted to see him, that he wasn’t worth waiting for if he thought so low of me. Please help me choose the right words to stay firm in my decision, when I see him I just melt.AnswerAnn LandersYou’re all worried about whether or not this married man respects you, when it is perfectly clear to anyone who has been around the block a time or two that he doesn’t. In fact it is fairly clear that he not only doesn’t respect you, but that he doesn’t respect his family either. If he did, he wouldn’t be running around with you, now would he? After all, married men aren’t supposed to cheat on their wives, are they? It’s called adultery. It’s called cheating. It’s not something that honourable people do. The likely case here is that this married man is more or less using you for sex. He tells you he loves you because that is the bait you are hungry for and will swallow every time, keeping yourself on his hook whenever he wants you. Since he sees you more as a sex object and not so much as a person he respects, it is easy for him to think of other people viewing you the same way, hence his nasty comments towards you regarding the lawyer. Show moreShow lessMy advice to you is to grow up a little and recognize how you are being played, and also how what you are doing will likely hurt not only yourself, but the other people involved, including this man’s wife and children, both of whom have feelings that can be hurt just like you do, and whose feelings are rather likely to be crushed and altered for life if they find out what has been happening. In your rush to satisfy your need to be loved (a perfectly human motive we can all relate to), you have settled instead for someone who is merely using you. You have also put the emotional lives of two innocent children and a similarly innocent wife at risk. While it is true that this guy will likely cheat with someone else if he doesn’t have access to you, at least if he is cheating with someone else, the pain of the family when they find out (and they will find out) will not have occurred while on your watch. Please do the right thing here. Walk away from this bum and don’t accept his calls anymore. Don’t let him near you anymore. Instead, work towards finding someone single with whom you can share a real and authentic love. You are worth at least that much. Good luck.Subject matter expertDana VinceRelationships and marriage counselingView experienceRelated communitiesMarriageA space for perspectives on partnership, communication, and the changing experiences of married life.Explore communityAuthorAnn LandersAnn Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide.View experienceMedical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D.Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…View experienceRelated questionsWhy don’t I care anymore? What’s wrong with me?What’s wrong with me?Is it wrong to be a masochist?","wordCount":833},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#website","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Answers","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#primaryimage","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/seeing-a-married-man-20261003.webp","contentUrl":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/seeing-a-married-man-20261003.webp","width":1000,"height":667,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"An adult walking along a sunlit seafront promenade"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers","jobTitle":"Writer (In remembrance)","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","jobTitle":"Clinical Affairs Director","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-hanson-phd-7215216/"]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#article","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man","headline":"Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?","description":"A woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning accusations.","wordCount":728,"mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#webpage"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"},"articleSection":"Answers","inLanguage":"en-US","datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:16Z","dateModified":"2026-06-05T09:33:42Z","author":[{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person"}],"image":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#primaryimage"},"hasPart":[{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#question"},{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer"}]},{"@type":"Question","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#question","name":"Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?","text":"I have been seeing a married man for a year, we have discussed his leaving his wife, he wants to he says, but loves his 2 children too much to leave. I have been faithful to him the whole year, ignoring friends invites, staying around the house more and pretty much waiting on him, I have decided not to do this any longer and I have realized what a horrible thing I have been doing. I love him very much, but lately he has noticed a change in me and is accusing me of being with other men-example: I have a lawyer. My boyfriend asked to see a receipt where I have paid the lawyer. He made the comment that I was “spreading my legs for my attorney’s services”. This cut me to the core – how could he take something emotional and intimate that we share to show our love and make it something ugly? How could he think that I would give myself to any one like that, let alone for services. This made me feel like a cheap whore, I am supposed to talk to him about this tonight, I told him I no longer wanted to see him, that he wasn’t worth waiting for if he thought so low of me. Please help me choose the right words to stay firm in my decision, when I see him I just melt.","acceptedAnswer":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#question","answerCount":1},{"@type":"Answer","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer","text":"You’re all worried about whether or not this married man respects you, when it is perfectly clear to anyone who has been around the block a time or two that he doesn’t. In fact it is fairly clear that he not only doesn’t respect you, but that he doesn’t respect his family either. If he did, he wouldn’t be running around with you, now would he? After all, married men aren’t supposed to cheat on their wives, are they? It’s called adultery. It’s called cheating. It’s not something that honourable people do. The likely case here is that this married man is more or less using you for sex. He tells you he loves you because that is the bait you are hungry for and will swallow every time, keeping yourself on his hook whenever he wants you. Since he sees you more as a sex object and not so much as a person he respects, it is easy for him to think of other people viewing you the same way, hence his nasty comments towards you regarding the lawyer. My advice to you is to grow up a little and recognize how you are being played, and also how what you are doing will likely hurt not only yourself, but the other people involved, including this man’s wife and children, both of whom have feelings that can be hurt just like you do, and whose feelings are rather likely to be crushed and altered for life if they find out what has been happening. In your rush to satisfy your need to be loved (a perfectly human motive we can all relate to), you have settled instead for someone who is merely using you. You have also put the emotional lives of two innocent children and a similarly innocent wife at risk. While it is true that this guy will likely cheat with someone else if he doesn’t have access to you, at least if he is cheating with someone else, the pain of the family when they find out (and they will find out) will not have occurred while on your watch. Please do the right thing here. Walk away from this bum and don’t accept his calls anymore. Don’t let him near you anymore. Instead, work towards finding someone single with whom you can share a real and authentic love. You are worth at least that much. Good luck.","author":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer"},{"@type":"MedicalWebPage","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#webpage","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man","name":"Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man?","description":"A woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning 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byAnn Landers"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#summary","label":"Summary"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#question","label":"Question"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer","label":"Answer"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/dana-vince","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/dana-vince","label":"Dana Vince"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/dana-vince","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/marriage","label":"Explore community"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers","label":"Ann Landers"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/what-is-wrong-with-me-i-dont-care-anymore","label":"Why don’t I care anymore? What’s wrong with me?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/is-there-something-wrong-with-me","label":"What’s wrong with me?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/is-it-okay-to-be-a-masochist","label":"Is it wrong to be a masochist?"}],"conversation":{"status":"complete","summary":{"question":"A woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning accusations. She asks how to remain firm when her feelings for him make it difficult to leave.","answer":"The answer interprets his conduct as disrespectful and emphasizes the potential emotional harm to her and his family. It recommends ending the relationship and contact, and seeking a relationship with an available partner who treats her with respect, rather than continuing to wait for him."},"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/seeing-a-married-man","sourceReviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"question":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#question","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#question","html":"<p>I have been seeing a married man for a year, we have discussed his leaving his wife, he wants to he says, but loves his 2 children too much to leave. </p>\n<p>I have been faithful to him the whole year, ignoring friends invites, staying around the house more and pretty much waiting on him, I have decided not to do this any longer and I have realized what a horrible thing I have been doing. </p>\n<p>I love him very much, but lately he has noticed a change in me and is accusing me of being with other men-example: I have a lawyer. </p>\n<p>My boyfriend asked to see a receipt where I have paid the lawyer. He made the comment that I was “spreading my legs for my attorney’s services”. </p>\n<p>This cut me to the core – how could he take something emotional and intimate that we share to show our love and make it something ugly? </p>\n<p>How could he think that I would give myself to any one like that, let alone for services. This made me feel like a cheap whore, I am supposed to talk to him about this tonight, I told him I no longer wanted to see him, that he wasn’t worth waiting for if he thought so low of me. </p>\n<p>Please help me choose the right words to stay firm in my decision, when I see him I just melt.</p>","text":"I have been seeing a married man for a year, we have discussed his leaving his wife, he wants to he says, but loves his 2 children too much to leave. I have been faithful to him the whole year, ignoring friends invites, staying around the house more and pretty much waiting on him, I have decided not to do this any longer and I have realized what a horrible thing I have been doing. I love him very much, but lately he has noticed a change in me and is accusing me of being with other men-example: I have a lawyer. My boyfriend asked to see a receipt where I have paid the lawyer. He made the comment that I was “spreading my legs for my attorney’s services”. This cut me to the core – how could he take something emotional and intimate that we share to show our love and make it something ugly? How could he think that I would give myself to any one like that, let alone for services. This made me feel like a cheap whore, I am supposed to talk to him about this tonight, I told him I no longer wanted to see him, that he wasn’t worth waiting for if he thought so low of me. Please help me choose the right words to stay firm in my decision, when I see him I just melt."},"answer":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man#answer","html":"<p>You’re all worried about whether or not this married man respects you, when it is perfectly clear to anyone who has been around the block a time or two that he doesn’t. In fact it is fairly clear that he not only doesn’t respect you, but that he doesn’t respect his family either. If he did, he wouldn’t be running around with you, now would he? </p>\n<p>After all, married men aren’t supposed to cheat on their wives, are they? It’s called adultery. It’s called cheating. It’s not something that honourable people do.</p>\n<p>The likely case here is that this married man is more or less using you for sex. He tells you he loves you because that is the bait you are hungry for and will swallow every time, keeping yourself on his hook whenever he wants you. Since he sees you more as a sex object and not so much as a person he respects, it is easy for him to think of other people viewing you the same way, hence his nasty comments towards you regarding the lawyer.</p>\n<p>My advice to you is to grow up a little and recognize how you are being played, and also how what you are doing will likely hurt not only yourself, but the other people involved, including this man’s wife and children, both of whom have feelings that can be hurt just like you do, and whose feelings are rather likely to be crushed and altered for life if they find out what has been happening. </p>\n<p>In your rush to satisfy your need to be loved (a perfectly human motive we can all relate to), you have settled instead for someone who is merely using you. You have also put the emotional lives of two innocent children and a similarly innocent wife at risk. </p>\n<p>While it is true that this guy will likely cheat with someone else if he doesn’t have access to you, at least if he is cheating with someone else, the pain of the family when they find out (and they will find out) will not have occurred while on your watch.</p>\n<p>Please do the right thing here. Walk away from this bum and don’t accept his calls anymore. Don’t let him near you anymore. Instead, work towards finding someone single with whom you can share a real and authentic love. You <b>are</b> worth at least that much. Good luck.</p>","text":"You’re all worried about whether or not this married man respects you, when it is perfectly clear to anyone who has been around the block a time or two that he doesn’t. In fact it is fairly clear that he not only doesn’t respect you, but that he doesn’t respect his family either. If he did, he wouldn’t be running around with you, now would he? After all, married men aren’t supposed to cheat on their wives, are they? It’s called adultery. It’s called cheating. It’s not something that honourable people do. The likely case here is that this married man is more or less using you for sex. He tells you he loves you because that is the bait you are hungry for and will swallow every time, keeping yourself on his hook whenever he wants you. Since he sees you more as a sex object and not so much as a person he respects, it is easy for him to think of other people viewing you the same way, hence his nasty comments towards you regarding the lawyer. My advice to you is to grow up a little and recognize how you are being played, and also how what you are doing will likely hurt not only yourself, but the other people involved, including this man’s wife and children, both of whom have feelings that can be hurt just like you do, and whose feelings are rather likely to be crushed and altered for life if they find out what has been happening. In your rush to satisfy your need to be loved (a perfectly human motive we can all relate to), you have settled instead for someone who is merely using you. You have also put the emotional lives of two innocent children and a similarly innocent wife at risk. While it is true that this guy will likely cheat with someone else if he doesn’t have access to you, at least if he is cheating with someone else, the pain of the family when they find out (and they will find out) will not have occurred while on your watch. Please do the right thing here. Walk away from this bum and don’t accept his calls anymore. Don’t let him near you anymore. Instead, work towards finding someone single with whom you can share a real and authentic love. You are worth at least that much. Good luck.","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"Is it wrong that I’m seeing a married man? | MentalHealth.com","description":"A woman wants to end a year-long relationship with a married man after waiting for him and receiving demeaning accusations.","canonical":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/seeing-a-married-man","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/social-tiles-20261006-dots/answers.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Dana Vince","url":"/people/dana-vince","profileId":"6375","topic":"relationships","focus":"Relationships and marriage counseling","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/marriage","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}