{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women","path":"/answers/i-like-men-and-women","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women","title":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","family":"Answers detail","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"custom-shared-preview","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","wordpressId":"6169","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers"}],"reviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"dates":{"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"},"content":{"html":"<nav class=\"breadcrumbs\" aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page answer-page\" data-answer-template=\"conversation\"><header class=\"answer-heading article-heading\"><a class=\"answer-back\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a><h1>What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?</h1><div class=\"answer-credits\"><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Written by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Ann Landers</span></span></a><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Medically reviewed by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</span></span></a></div><dl class=\"answer-heading-dates\"><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z\">June 1, 2024</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z\">May 24, 2026</time></dd></div><div><dt>Reviewed</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-09-15\">September 15, 2025</time></dd></div></dl></header><nav class=\"answer-nav\" aria-label=\"Answer navigation\"><a href=\"#summary\">Summary</a><a href=\"#question\">Question</a><a href=\"#answer\">Answer</a></nav><article class=\"prose\" id=\"article-content\" data-answer-thread aria-label=\"Reader question and professional response\"><section class=\"answer-overview\" id=\"summary\" aria-labelledby=\"summary-title\"><h2 id=\"summary-title\">Summary</h2><figure class=\"answer-question-image\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/i-like-men-and-women-20261003.webp\" alt=\"Three young adults talking together on a campus lawn.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" fetchpriority=\"high\"></figure><p>A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize.</p><p>The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual.</p><p>It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand.</p><p>It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time.</p></section><div class=\"answer-originals\" id=\"original-conversation\"><div class=\"answer-originals-body\"><section class=\"answer-post answer-question\" id=\"question\" aria-labelledby=\"question-person\"><div class=\"answer-avatar answer-reader\" aria-hidden=\"true\">?</div><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"question-person\">Question</h2><span>Reader · Identity withheld</span></header><p>I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. </p>\n<p>Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. </p>\n<p>Is this weird? </p>\n<p>I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. </p>\n<p>I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?</p></div></section><section class=\"answer-post answer-response\" id=\"answer\" aria-labelledby=\"response-person\"><a class=\"answer-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\" aria-label=\"View Ann Landers profile\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"44\" height=\"44\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"response-person\">Answer</h2><span>Ann Landers</span></header><p>It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time.</p>\n<p>You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though.</p>\n<p>Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. </p>\n<p>Best of luck, – Anne</p></div></section></div></div></article><div class=\"answer-endmatter\"><section class=\"article-expert answer-expert-card\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel\" tabindex=\"-1\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/13152.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div class=\"answer-expert-copy\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel\">Carlos Protzel <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Integrative mental health care</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"article-topic-community\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-17221.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Relationships</h2><p>Connect around communication, closeness, boundaries, and the relationships that matter to you.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/relationships\">Explore community</a></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Author</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\">Ann Landers</a></h2><p>Ann Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Medical reviewer</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-related\"><h2>Related questions</h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/im-always-attracted-to-men-who-dont-want-me-what-can-i-do\">How can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her\">Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/will-my-boyfriend-eventually-hit-me\">Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?</a></section></div></div>","text":"HomeAnswersWhat does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?AnswersWhat does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?Written byAnn LandersMedically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D.PublishedJune 1, 2024UpdatedMay 24, 2026ReviewedSeptember 15, 2025SummaryQuestionAnswerSummaryA 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize.The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual.It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand.It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time.?QuestionReader · Identity withheldI‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?AnswerAnn LandersIt is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – AnneSubject matter expertCarlos Protzel Psy.D.Integrative mental health careView experienceRelated communitiesRelationshipsConnect around communication, closeness, boundaries, and the relationships that matter to you.Explore communityAuthorAnn LandersAnn Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide.View experienceMedical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D.Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…View experienceRelated questionsHow can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?","wordCount":497},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#website","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Answers","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#primaryimage","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/i-like-men-and-women-20261003.webp","contentUrl":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/i-like-men-and-women-20261003.webp","width":1000,"height":667,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"Three young adults talking together on a campus lawn."},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers","jobTitle":"Writer (In remembrance)","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9419.jpg"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","jobTitle":"Clinical Affairs Director","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-hanson-phd-7215216/"]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#article","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women","headline":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","wordCount":380,"mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#webpage"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"},"articleSection":"Answers","inLanguage":"en-US","datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z","author":[{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person"}],"image":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#primaryimage"},"hasPart":[{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question"},{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer"}]},{"@type":"Question","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","name":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","text":"I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?","acceptedAnswer":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","answerCount":1},{"@type":"Answer","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","text":"It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. 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me?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","label":"Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/will-my-boyfriend-eventually-hit-me","label":"Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?"}],"conversation":{"status":"complete","summary":{"question":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize.","answer":"The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual. It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand. It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time."},"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","sourceReviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"question":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","html":"<p>I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. </p>\n<p>Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. </p>\n<p>Is this weird? </p>\n<p>I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. </p>\n<p>I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?</p>","text":"I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?"},"answer":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","html":"<p>It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time.</p>\n<p>You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though.</p>\n<p>Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. </p>\n<p>Best of luck, – Anne</p>","text":"It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/anne-landers"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men | MentalHealth.com","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","canonical":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/social-tiles-20261006-dots/answers.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Carlos Protzel, Psy.D.","url":"/people/carlos-protzel","profileId":"13151","topic":"wellbeing","focus":"Integrative mental health care","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/relationships","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}