{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","path":"/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","title":"Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?","family":"Answers detail","description":"A reader asks whether a psychologist should disclose romantic attraction when a patient also feels attracted.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"custom-shared-preview","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","wordpressId":"6071","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck#person","name":"Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck"}],"reviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"dates":{"datePublished":"2025-06-19T20:32:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T16:02:39Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"},"content":{"html":"<nav class=\"breadcrumbs\" aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page answer-page\" data-answer-template=\"conversation\"><header class=\"answer-heading article-heading\"><a class=\"answer-back\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a><h1>Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?</h1><div class=\"answer-credits\"><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9364.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Written by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.</span></span></a><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Medically reviewed by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</span></span></a></div><dl class=\"answer-heading-dates\"><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-06-19T20:32:12Z\">June 19, 2025</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2026-05-24T16:02:39Z\">May 24, 2026</time></dd></div><div><dt>Reviewed</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-09-15\">September 15, 2025</time></dd></div></dl></header><nav class=\"answer-nav\" aria-label=\"Answer navigation\"><a href=\"#summary\">Summary</a><a href=\"#question\">Question</a><a href=\"#answer\">Answer</a></nav><article class=\"prose\" id=\"article-content\" data-answer-thread aria-label=\"Reader question and professional response\"><section class=\"answer-overview\" id=\"summary\" aria-labelledby=\"summary-title\"><h2 id=\"summary-title\">Summary</h2><figure class=\"answer-question-image\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her-20261003.webp\" alt=\"Two adults seated apart in a bright counseling room.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" fetchpriority=\"high\"></figure><p>A reader asks whether a psychologist should disclose romantic attraction when a patient also feels attracted. The concern centers on maintaining the purpose and boundaries of therapy.</p><p>The response argues that the therapist should keep the focus on the patient’s emotional experience and should never act on attraction.</p><p>It distinguishes exploring the patient’s feelings therapeutically from turning the relationship into a social or romantic one through the therapist’s own disclosure.</p></section><div class=\"answer-originals\" id=\"original-conversation\"><div class=\"answer-originals-body\"><section class=\"answer-post answer-question\" id=\"question\" aria-labelledby=\"question-person\"><div class=\"answer-avatar answer-reader\" aria-hidden=\"true\">?</div><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"question-person\">Question</h2><span>Reader · Identity withheld</span></header><p>Is it ever appropriate for a psychologist to disclose their attraction to a patient, even if they know the patient feels the same way?</p></div></section><section class=\"answer-post answer-response\" id=\"answer\" aria-labelledby=\"response-person\"><a class=\"answer-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck\" aria-label=\"View Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D. profile\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9364.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"44\" height=\"44\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"response-person\">Answer</h2><span>Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.</span></header><p>This is a complex issue that is much discussed within therapy circles.  The generally accepted answer, which is also considered to be the ethically proper way to handle these situations, is for the therapist to not admit to any feelings of attraction, and most definitely not to ever, under any circumstances act on such feelings. At the very least, a therapist should not dwell on any discussion of her own attraction, and refocus the patient towards exploring his own motives.</p>\n<p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/understanding-navigating-therapy\" class=\"article-inline-link\">Patients are not in therapy to socialize with their therapist</a> (at least hopefully).  They are there to do therapy work, which means focusing on their inner emotional experience.  </p>\n<p>For a therapist to admit to attraction causes the focus of the patient’s experience to shift into a social mode where the patient is fantasizing about the two as a romantic pair.  Better for the therapist to acknowledge the attraction if the patient wants to talk about it, and <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/transference\" class=\"article-inline-link\">gently refocus the patient towards exploring where that attraction is coming from</a> and why it is happening now.  That makes for a far better and far more therapeutic discussion for the patient as it helps the patient to become more aware of the motives behind their desires.</p></div></section></div></div></article><div class=\"answer-endmatter\"><section class=\"article-expert answer-expert-card\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel\" tabindex=\"-1\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/13152.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div class=\"answer-expert-copy\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel\">Carlos Protzel <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Integrative mental health care</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"article-topic-community\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/library/editorial-17221.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Relationships</h2><p>Connect around communication, closeness, boundaries, and the relationships that matter to you.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/relationships\">Explore community</a></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9364.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Author</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck\">Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D. is a trauma-informed psychologist with over 30 years of experience helping people navigate mental health challenges.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/wordpress/9210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Medical reviewer</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-related\"><h2>Related questions</h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/im-always-attracted-to-men-who-dont-want-me-what-can-i-do\">How can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women\">What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-cant-tell-a-lie\">Why can’t I tell a lie?</a></section></div></div>","text":"HomeAnswersCan a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?AnswersCan a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?Written byMark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D.PublishedJune 19, 2025UpdatedMay 24, 2026ReviewedSeptember 15, 2025SummaryQuestionAnswerSummaryA reader asks whether a psychologist should disclose romantic attraction when a patient also feels attracted. The concern centers on maintaining the purpose and boundaries of therapy.The response argues that the therapist should keep the focus on the patient’s emotional experience and should never act on attraction.It distinguishes exploring the patient’s feelings therapeutically from turning the relationship into a social or romantic one through the therapist’s own disclosure.?QuestionReader · Identity withheldIs it ever appropriate for a psychologist to disclose their attraction to a patient, even if they know the patient feels the same way?AnswerMark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.This is a complex issue that is much discussed within therapy circles. The generally accepted answer, which is also considered to be the ethically proper way to handle these situations, is for the therapist to not admit to any feelings of attraction, and most definitely not to ever, under any circumstances act on such feelings. At the very least, a therapist should not dwell on any discussion of her own attraction, and refocus the patient towards exploring his own motives. Patients are not in therapy to socialize with their therapist (at least hopefully). They are there to do therapy work, which means focusing on their inner emotional experience. For a therapist to admit to attraction causes the focus of the patient’s experience to shift into a social mode where the patient is fantasizing about the two as a romantic pair. Better for the therapist to acknowledge the attraction if the patient wants to talk about it, and gently refocus the patient towards exploring where that attraction is coming from and why it is happening now. That makes for a far better and far more therapeutic discussion for the patient as it helps the patient to become more aware of the motives behind their desires.Subject matter expertCarlos Protzel Psy.D.Integrative mental health careView experienceRelated communitiesRelationshipsConnect around communication, closeness, boundaries, and the relationships that matter to you.Explore communityAuthorMark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D. is a trauma-informed psychologist with over 30 years of experience helping people navigate mental health challenges.View experienceMedical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D.Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…View experienceRelated questionsHow can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?Why can’t I tell a lie?","wordCount":431},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#website","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Answers","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Can 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byMark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#summary","label":"Summary"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#question","label":"Question"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#answer","label":"Answer"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/understanding-navigating-therapy","label":"Patients are not in therapy to socialize with their therapist"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/transference","label":"gently refocus the patient towards exploring where that attraction is coming from"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel","label":"Carlos Protzel Psy.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/carlos-protzel","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/relationships","label":"Explore community"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck","label":"Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/im-always-attracted-to-men-who-dont-want-me-what-can-i-do","label":"How can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-like-men-and-women","label":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/i-cant-tell-a-lie","label":"Why can’t I tell a lie?"}],"conversation":{"status":"complete","summary":{"question":"A reader asks whether a psychologist should disclose romantic attraction when a patient also feels attracted. The concern centers on maintaining the purpose and boundaries of therapy.","answer":"The response argues that the therapist should keep the focus on the patient’s emotional experience and should never act on attraction. It distinguishes exploring the patient’s feelings therapeutically from turning the relationship into a social or romantic one through the therapist’s own disclosure."},"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","sourceReviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"question":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#question","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#question","html":"<p>Is it ever appropriate for a psychologist to disclose their attraction to a patient, even if they know the patient feels the same way?</p>","text":"Is it ever appropriate for a psychologist to disclose their attraction to a patient, even if they know the patient feels the same way?"},"answer":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#answer","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her#answer","html":"<p>This is a complex issue that is much discussed within therapy circles.  The generally accepted answer, which is also considered to be the ethically proper way to handle these situations, is for the therapist to not admit to any feelings of attraction, and most definitely not to ever, under any circumstances act on such feelings. At the very least, a therapist should not dwell on any discussion of her own attraction, and refocus the patient towards exploring his own motives.</p>\n<p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/understanding-navigating-therapy\">Patients are not in therapy to socialize with their therapist</a> (at least hopefully).  They are there to do therapy work, which means focusing on their inner emotional experience.  </p>\n<p>For a therapist to admit to attraction causes the focus of the patient’s experience to shift into a social mode where the patient is fantasizing about the two as a romantic pair.  Better for the therapist to acknowledge the attraction if the patient wants to talk about it, and <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/transference\">gently refocus the patient towards exploring where that attraction is coming from</a> and why it is happening now.  That makes for a far better and far more therapeutic discussion for the patient as it helps the patient to become more aware of the motives behind their desires.</p>","text":"This is a complex issue that is much discussed within therapy circles. The generally accepted answer, which is also considered to be the ethically proper way to handle these situations, is for the therapist to not admit to any feelings of attraction, and most definitely not to ever, under any circumstances act on such feelings. At the very least, a therapist should not dwell on any discussion of her own attraction, and refocus the patient towards exploring his own motives. Patients are not in therapy to socialize with their therapist (at least hopefully). They are there to do therapy work, which means focusing on their inner emotional experience. For a therapist to admit to attraction causes the focus of the patient’s experience to shift into a social mode where the patient is fantasizing about the two as a romantic pair. Better for the therapist to acknowledge the attraction if the patient wants to talk about it, and gently refocus the patient towards exploring where that attraction is coming from and why it is happening now. That makes for a far better and far more therapeutic discussion for the patient as it helps the patient to become more aware of the motives behind their desires.","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck#person","name":"Mark Vigil Dombeck, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/mark-dombeck"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is | MentalHealth.com","description":"A reader asks whether a psychologist should disclose romantic attraction when a patient also feels attracted.","canonical":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/social-tiles-20261006-dots/answers.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Carlos Protzel, Psy.D.","url":"/people/carlos-protzel","profileId":"13151","topic":"wellbeing","focus":"Integrative mental health care","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/relationships","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}