{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","path":"/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","title":"How do I overcome my fear of contact?","family":"Answers detail","description":"A reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. Shame and negative self-image are beginning to affect relationships.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"custom-shared-preview","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","wordpressId":"6051","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz#person","name":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz"}],"reviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"dates":{"datePublished":"2025-06-10T08:51:26Z","dateModified":"2025-09-04T13:17:15Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"},"content":{"html":"<nav class=\"breadcrumbs\" aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">How do I overcome my fear of contact?</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page answer-page\" data-answer-template=\"conversation\"><header class=\"answer-heading article-heading\"><a class=\"answer-back\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers\">Answers</a><h1>How do I overcome my fear of contact?</h1><div class=\"answer-credits\"><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/3f1145a76c69b3ca318ecb8b.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Written by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.</span></span></a><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"40\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Medically reviewed by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</span></span></a></div><dl class=\"answer-heading-dates\"><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-06-10T08:51:26Z\">June 10, 2025</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-09-04T13:17:15Z\">September 4, 2025</time></dd></div><div><dt>Reviewed</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-09-15\">September 15, 2025</time></dd></div></dl></header><nav class=\"answer-nav\" aria-label=\"Answer navigation\"><a href=\"#summary\">Summary</a><a href=\"#question\">Question</a><a href=\"#answer\">Answer</a></nav><article class=\"prose\" id=\"article-content\" data-answer-thread aria-label=\"Reader question and professional response\"><section class=\"answer-overview\" id=\"summary\" aria-labelledby=\"summary-title\"><h2 id=\"summary-title\">Summary</h2><figure class=\"answer-question-image\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/571bd658974a099d4e64130b.webp\" alt=\"Two friends walking together through a garden.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\"></figure><p>A reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. Shame and negative self-image are beginning to affect relationships.</p><p>The response interprets the account through an obsessive-compulsive framework and discusses how anxiety can sustain repetitive fears and avoidance.</p><p>It recommends professional psychotherapy and a medication consultation, presenting this as the author’s interpretation rather than a diagnosis established by the brief letter.</p></section><div class=\"answer-originals\" id=\"original-conversation\"><div class=\"answer-originals-body\"><section class=\"answer-post answer-question\" id=\"question\" aria-labelledby=\"question-person\"><div class=\"answer-avatar answer-reader\" aria-hidden=\"true\">?</div><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"question-person\">Question</h2><span>Reader · Identity withheld</span></header><p>I've never liked being touched, but I did not give it much thought until recently, when one of my coworkers asked me about it. Their questions left me feeling embarrassed, because I cant even bring myself to give someone a proper hug. I have tried, but it felt so awkward, like I was doing it wrong.</p>\n<p>I never initiate physical contact and even when someone goes in for a hug, I still ask if it’s okay for me to touch them. It’s not that I dislike touch, actually, it’s the opposite. I just feel like people wouldn’t want me to touch them because I see myself as disgusting.</p>\n<p>My family were never very physically affectionate, but I don’t think that’s the reason anymore. This fear of touch is starting to ruin my relationships, and I don’t even understand why it’s happening.</p></div></section><section class=\"answer-post answer-response\" id=\"answer\" aria-labelledby=\"response-person\"><a class=\"answer-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz\" aria-label=\"View Allan Schwartz, Ph.D. profile\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/3f1145a76c69b3ca318ecb8b.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"44\" height=\"44\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"response-person\">Answer</h2><span>Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.</span></header><p>What you are describing is a symptom of <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/obsessive-compulsive-disorder\" class=\"article-inline-link\">Obsessive Compulsive Disorder</a> also known as Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD works both ways so that a person may fear being touched or touching other people. Behind this fear lies many thoughts such as the danger that germs may be spread or that another person may be dirty or that you may infect another person with your germs or dirt. It is important to realize that none of these thoughts are realistic but are based on fear.</p>\n<p>An obsession is defined as a repetitive kind of thinking that is driven by anxiety. Repetitive thoughts may include the fear that there are germs and other people could spread infections. A compulsion is a repetitive activity such as wanting to avoid touching, kissing or hugging other people based on the fear of germs. Obsessions and compulsions can take many forms and there are multiple examples.</p>\n<p>People with OCD are always aware of their thoughts and behaviors and how irrational or \"silly\" they are. However, this awareness does not help them to stop the annoying thoughts and behaviors. Please understand that you are a person who wants to touch and be touched. It is just that this <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/ocd-and-isolation\" class=\"article-inline-link\">OCD gets in your way</a> of enjoying normal social interaction.</p>\nPlease do not give up hope as this is very treatable. What are the treatments for OCD?\n<details class=\"answer-long-text\"><summary><span class=\"answer-read-more\">Show more</span><span class=\"answer-read-less\">Show less</span></summary><ol>\n    <li>First, there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which you are taught methods to stop engaging in these thoughts and activities.</li>\n    <li>Second, there are anti depressant medications that provide huge help in relieving depression, anxiety and the OCD symptoms.</li>\n</ol>\nAs you can see from what you wrote in the email there is low self esteem or depression very much connected to OCD as well as anxiety and that is why medication is so helpful. The best combination of treatment is <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/cbt-application-in-treating-depression\" class=\"article-inline-link\">medication with psychotherapy</a>.\n<p>The sooner you enter psychotherapy and see a psychiatrist for medication the sooner you will find relief for this problem.</p>\n<p>Best of luck.</p>\n<p> </p></details></div></section></div></div></article><div class=\"answer-endmatter\"><section class=\"article-expert answer-expert-card\" aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" data-expert-kind=\"related\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/brian-thompson\" tabindex=\"-1\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/f3b9d905f1cd6379a2692607.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div class=\"answer-expert-copy\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/brian-thompson\">Brian Thompson <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Ph.D.</span></a></h2><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Evidence-based care for anxiety</p><a class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/brian-thompson\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"article-topic-community\" aria-label=\"Related communities\"><img class=\"topic-community-banner\" src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/64c95bfd6f229ef082808732.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related communities</p><h2>Phobias</h2><p>A place to explore specific fears and the ways they can affect daily experiences.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/phobias\">Explore community</a></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/3f1145a76c69b3ca318ecb8b.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Author</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz\">Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 30 years of private practice experience.</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\"><img src=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Medical reviewer</span><h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…</p><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson\" class=\"profile-experience-link experience-button\">View experience</a></div></section><section class=\"answer-related\"><h2>Related questions</h2><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/how-can-i-overcome-my-debilitating-shyness-and-fear-of-life\">How can I overcome my debilitating shyness and fear of life?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/therapist-rights-to-contact-employer\">Does a therapist have the right to contact my employer?</a><a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/nervous-about-nudity\">How can I overcome being nervous about nudity?</a></section></div></div>","text":"HomeAnswersHow do I overcome my fear of contact?AnswersHow do I overcome my fear of contact?Written byAllan Schwartz, Ph.D.Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D.PublishedJune 10, 2025UpdatedSeptember 4, 2025ReviewedSeptember 15, 2025SummaryQuestionAnswerSummaryA reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. Shame and negative self-image are beginning to affect relationships.The response interprets the account through an obsessive-compulsive framework and discusses how anxiety can sustain repetitive fears and avoidance.It recommends professional psychotherapy and a medication consultation, presenting this as the author’s interpretation rather than a diagnosis established by the brief letter.?QuestionReader · Identity withheldI've never liked being touched, but I did not give it much thought until recently, when one of my coworkers asked me about it. Their questions left me feeling embarrassed, because I cant even bring myself to give someone a proper hug. I have tried, but it felt so awkward, like I was doing it wrong. I never initiate physical contact and even when someone goes in for a hug, I still ask if it’s okay for me to touch them. It’s not that I dislike touch, actually, it’s the opposite. I just feel like people wouldn’t want me to touch them because I see myself as disgusting. My family were never very physically affectionate, but I don’t think that’s the reason anymore. This fear of touch is starting to ruin my relationships, and I don’t even understand why it’s happening.AnswerAllan Schwartz, Ph.D.What you are describing is a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder also known as Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD works both ways so that a person may fear being touched or touching other people. Behind this fear lies many thoughts such as the danger that germs may be spread or that another person may be dirty or that you may infect another person with your germs or dirt. It is important to realize that none of these thoughts are realistic but are based on fear. An obsession is defined as a repetitive kind of thinking that is driven by anxiety. Repetitive thoughts may include the fear that there are germs and other people could spread infections. A compulsion is a repetitive activity such as wanting to avoid touching, kissing or hugging other people based on the fear of germs. Obsessions and compulsions can take many forms and there are multiple examples. People with OCD are always aware of their thoughts and behaviors and how irrational or \"silly\" they are. However, this awareness does not help them to stop the annoying thoughts and behaviors. Please understand that you are a person who wants to touch and be touched. It is just that this OCD gets in your way of enjoying normal social interaction. Please do not give up hope as this is very treatable. What are the treatments for OCD? Show moreShow less First, there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which you are taught methods to stop engaging in these thoughts and activities. Second, there are anti depressant medications that provide huge help in relieving depression, anxiety and the OCD symptoms. As you can see from what you wrote in the email there is low self esteem or depression very much connected to OCD as well as anxiety and that is why medication is so helpful. The best combination of treatment is medication with psychotherapy. The sooner you enter psychotherapy and see a psychiatrist for medication the sooner you will find relief for this problem. Best of luck. Subject matter expertBrian Thompson Ph.D.Brian Thompson, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist at Portland Psychotherapy Clinic, Research, and Training Center in Portland, Oregon, and he also works at the Portland Mood Disorders Clinic.View experienceRelated communitiesPhobiasA place to explore specific fears and the ways they can affect daily experiences.Explore communityAuthorAllan Schwartz, Ph.D.Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 30 years of private practice experience.View experienceMedical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D.Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…View experienceRelated questionsHow can I overcome my debilitating shyness and fear of life?Does a therapist have the right to contact my employer?How can I overcome being nervous about nudity?","wordCount":689},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#website","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Answers","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"How do I overcome my fear of contact?","item":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#primaryimage","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/571bd658974a099d4e64130b.webp","contentUrl":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/571bd658974a099d4e64130b.webp","width":1000,"height":667,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"Two friends walking together through a garden."},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz#person","name":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz","jobTitle":"LCSW, Ph.D.","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/3f1145a76c69b3ca318ecb8b.jpg"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","jobTitle":"Clinical Affairs Director","image":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-hanson-phd-7215216/"]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#article","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","headline":"How do I overcome my fear of contact?","description":"A reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. 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Their questions left me feeling embarrassed, because I cant even bring myself to give someone a proper hug. I have tried, but it felt so awkward, like I was doing it wrong. I never initiate physical contact and even when someone goes in for a hug, I still ask if it’s okay for me to touch them. It’s not that I dislike touch, actually, it’s the opposite. I just feel like people wouldn’t want me to touch them because I see myself as disgusting. My family were never very physically affectionate, but I don’t think that’s the reason anymore. This fear of touch is starting to ruin my relationships, and I don’t even understand why it’s happening.","acceptedAnswer":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#answer"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#question","answerCount":1},{"@type":"Answer","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#answer","text":"What you are describing is a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder also known as OCD. OCD works both ways so that a person may fear being touched or touching other people. Behind this fear lies many thoughts such as the danger that germs may be spread or that another person may be dirty or that you may infect another person with your germs or dirt. It is important to realize that none of these thoughts are realistic but are based on fear. An obsession is defined as a repetitive kind of thinking that is driven by anxiety. Repetitive thoughts may include the fear that there are germs and other people could spread infections. A compulsion is a repetitive activity such as wanting to avoid touching, kissing or hugging other people based on the fear of germs. Obsessions and compulsions can take many forms and there are multiple examples. People with OCD are always aware of their thoughts and behaviors and how irrational or \"silly\" they are. However, this awareness does not help them to stop the annoying thoughts and behaviors. Please understand that you are a person who wants to touch and be touched. It is just that this OCD gets in your way of enjoying normal social interaction. Please do not give up hope as this is very treatable. What are the treatments for OCD? First, there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which you are taught methods to stop engaging in these thoughts and activities. Second, there are anti depressant medications that provide huge help in relieving depression, anxiety and the OCD symptoms. As you can see from what you wrote in the email there is low self esteem or depression very much connected to OCD as well as anxiety and that is why medication is so helpful. The best combination of treatment is medication with psychotherapy. The sooner you enter psychotherapy and see a psychiatrist for medication the sooner you will find relief for this problem. Best of luck.","author":{"@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz#person"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#answer"},{"@type":"MedicalWebPage","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#webpage","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","name":"How do I overcome my fear of contact?","description":"A reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. 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byAllan Schwartz, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#summary","label":"Summary"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#question","label":"Question"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#answer","label":"Answer"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/obsessive-compulsive-disorder","label":"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/ocd-and-isolation","label":"OCD gets in your way"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/cbt-application-in-treating-depression","label":"medication with psychotherapy"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/brian-thompson","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/brian-thompson","label":"Brian Thompson Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/brian-thompson","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/community/phobias","label":"Explore community"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz","label":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":""},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson","label":"View experience"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/how-can-i-overcome-my-debilitating-shyness-and-fear-of-life","label":"How can I overcome my debilitating shyness and fear of life?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/therapist-rights-to-contact-employer","label":"Does a therapist have the right to contact my employer?"},{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/nervous-about-nudity","label":"How can I overcome being nervous about nudity?"}],"conversation":{"status":"complete","summary":{"question":"A reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. Shame and negative self-image are beginning to affect relationships.","answer":"The response interprets the account through an obsessive-compulsive framework and discusses how anxiety can sustain repetitive fears and avoidance. It recommends professional psychotherapy and a medication consultation, presenting this as the author’s interpretation rather than a diagnosis established by the brief letter."},"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","sourceReviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/jesse-hanson"},"question":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#question","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#question","html":"<p>I've never liked being touched, but I did not give it much thought until recently, when one of my coworkers asked me about it. Their questions left me feeling embarrassed, because I cant even bring myself to give someone a proper hug. I have tried, but it felt so awkward, like I was doing it wrong.</p>\n<p>I never initiate physical contact and even when someone goes in for a hug, I still ask if it’s okay for me to touch them. It’s not that I dislike touch, actually, it’s the opposite. I just feel like people wouldn’t want me to touch them because I see myself as disgusting.</p>\n<p>My family were never very physically affectionate, but I don’t think that’s the reason anymore. This fear of touch is starting to ruin my relationships, and I don’t even understand why it’s happening.</p>","text":"I've never liked being touched, but I did not give it much thought until recently, when one of my coworkers asked me about it. Their questions left me feeling embarrassed, because I cant even bring myself to give someone a proper hug. I have tried, but it felt so awkward, like I was doing it wrong. I never initiate physical contact and even when someone goes in for a hug, I still ask if it’s okay for me to touch them. It’s not that I dislike touch, actually, it’s the opposite. I just feel like people wouldn’t want me to touch them because I see myself as disgusting. My family were never very physically affectionate, but I don’t think that’s the reason anymore. This fear of touch is starting to ruin my relationships, and I don’t even understand why it’s happening."},"answer":{"id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#answer","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people#answer","html":"<p>What you are describing is a symptom of <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/obsessive-compulsive-disorder\">Obsessive Compulsive Disorder</a> also known as OCD. OCD works both ways so that a person may fear being touched or touching other people. Behind this fear lies many thoughts such as the danger that germs may be spread or that another person may be dirty or that you may infect another person with your germs or dirt. It is important to realize that none of these thoughts are realistic but are based on fear.</p>\n<p>An obsession is defined as a repetitive kind of thinking that is driven by anxiety. Repetitive thoughts may include the fear that there are germs and other people could spread infections. A compulsion is a repetitive activity such as wanting to avoid touching, kissing or hugging other people based on the fear of germs. Obsessions and compulsions can take many forms and there are multiple examples.</p>\n<p>People with OCD are always aware of their thoughts and behaviors and how irrational or \"silly\" they are. However, this awareness does not help them to stop the annoying thoughts and behaviors. Please understand that you are a person who wants to touch and be touched. It is just that this <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/ocd-and-isolation\">OCD gets in your way</a> of enjoying normal social interaction.</p>\nPlease do not give up hope as this is very treatable. What are the treatments for OCD?\n<ol>\n \t<li>First, there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which you are taught methods to stop engaging in these thoughts and activities.</li>\n \t<li>Second, there are anti depressant medications that provide huge help in relieving depression, anxiety and the OCD symptoms.</li>\n</ol>\nAs you can see from what you wrote in the email there is low self esteem or depression very much connected to OCD as well as anxiety and that is why medication is so helpful. The best combination of treatment is <a href=\"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/library/cbt-application-in-treating-depression\">medication with psychotherapy</a>.\n<p>The sooner you enter psychotherapy and see a psychiatrist for medication the sooner you will find relief for this problem.</p>\n<p>Best of luck.</p>\n<p> </p>","text":"What you are describing is a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder also known as OCD. OCD works both ways so that a person may fear being touched or touching other people. Behind this fear lies many thoughts such as the danger that germs may be spread or that another person may be dirty or that you may infect another person with your germs or dirt. It is important to realize that none of these thoughts are realistic but are based on fear. An obsession is defined as a repetitive kind of thinking that is driven by anxiety. Repetitive thoughts may include the fear that there are germs and other people could spread infections. A compulsion is a repetitive activity such as wanting to avoid touching, kissing or hugging other people based on the fear of germs. Obsessions and compulsions can take many forms and there are multiple examples. People with OCD are always aware of their thoughts and behaviors and how irrational or \"silly\" they are. However, this awareness does not help them to stop the annoying thoughts and behaviors. Please understand that you are a person who wants to touch and be touched. It is just that this OCD gets in your way of enjoying normal social interaction. Please do not give up hope as this is very treatable. What are the treatments for OCD? First, there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which you are taught methods to stop engaging in these thoughts and activities. Second, there are anti depressant medications that provide huge help in relieving depression, anxiety and the OCD symptoms. As you can see from what you wrote in the email there is low self esteem or depression very much connected to OCD as well as anxiety and that is why medication is so helpful. The best combination of treatment is medication with psychotherapy. The sooner you enter psychotherapy and see a psychiatrist for medication the sooner you will find relief for this problem. Best of luck.","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz#person","name":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.","url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/people/allan-schwartz"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"How do I overcome my fear of contact? | MentalHealth.com","description":"A reader wants closeness but feels unable to initiate touch or accept hugs comfortably. Shame and negative self-image are beginning to affect relationships.","canonical":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/answers/afraid-to-touch-people","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://mentalhealth-v2.workspace-454808.chatgpt.site/assets/optimized/f7d19272dd5d30590dddbab9.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Brian Thompson, Ph.D.","url":"/people/brian-thompson","profileId":"6379","topic":"anxiety","focus":"Evidence-based care for anxiety","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/phobias","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}